Sponsor
Jayden Christelle
- Team-Leader at Marth's Cooking
I cheated on my BOYFRIEND should i tell him
My boyfriend left for a seminar in London as we’re based in Canada. two days after he traveled, I was bored and decided to visit a friend (female friend). As we were chillin’ out his friends came visiting (male friends).
Somehow we started playing a game, where losers drink a shot of whisky. Before i knew it, i was getting drunk, somehow long story short. I realized myself the next morning in the bed with one of those boys. I didn’t know what happened, but the guy admitted he had sex with me.
Now deep in me, I’m guilty i cheated on my BOYFRIEND should i tell him or just stay silent about it? Please help me, i don’t want to make a wrong decision that will affect my relationship. Thank you.
Share
Apostle
The choice is yours, you should tell him if you seek for peace of mind, else keep is to yourself and have yourself to blame should shit go wrong in the future.
/
Note: confessions is 100% better than “i am sorry”
/
My opinion? if you value your relationship and which to maintain it with your boyfriend, then confess to him now while he’s no aware, rather than telling him you’re sorry after which he has heard about it from someone else. That’s my suggestion tho, you hold the final decision because only your feeds are in the shoes
Martin Gamal
I don’t think its a brilliant idea to tell, reasons been some men are so ridiculous. The moment you tell him by been honest, he will therefore label you as a cheat whereas you simply tried to be honest to him for your mistake.
However, with that been said, you know your boyfriend better than anyone here. if you already know how and understand his behavior better on such issues, then you can know best whether to tell him or not.
My final say; if you think telling him will instead bring peace, then i suggest to tell him; otherwise don’t. Also my dear follow your heart the most 🙂 .
Danstar9
Hi
This is a difficult situation you are in and I sympathize with you.
Yes you should tell him,as you are already remorseful about it, for the following reasons :
* this will cast a shadow over your relationship if you do not speak about it and that will cause other issues in the future.
*this is actually about freeing you from the guilt that you have about what happened wihich has the potential of holding you captive for the rest of the relationship if not spoken about.
” if you expect honesty you should give honesty.
*relationships are built over time through highs and lows. This only strengthens then
*sometimes things seem scarier than they actually are.
I can say alot more but hoping this helps you make the right decision.
English From Heart
Yes. You should. Because otherwise your guilty conscience will kill your relation eventually. Because if you will delay in telling him the truth, you will be ditching your ownself and him together. So tell him everything. And be ready for the consquences.
Rajabov Shaxzod
No, it was just a mistake and a mistake is a mistake, all people have the right to make a mistake – but they need to be given a chance to correct their mistakes. It was an accident, but it shouldn’t be repeated again, if you tell him there may be problems, it’s better to leave it at that.
Salvadorg
Hello,
You might have heard about the three filter questions….
1) Is it true?
2) Is it necessary?
3) Is it going to be good?
So, you may find your answer by answering these three questions.
God bless you.
Arfe
You said yourself, you feel guilty. Do you recall anyone feeling guilty over doing something good? And to throw some light into your decision (that you already took, and I think your doubt is now how to tell him) he will know it from someone else, sooner than later. Guys cannot keep secrets from each other, I am sorry that’s the truth. Do this one good thing and be honest. Tell him. And accept that there are no two different answers to this. You should tell the true. I cant promise that because of that it will all be good, most probably it wont.
walucrz
Yes,I know that this is a very hard situation but if you don’t tell him and he finds out by himself or someone else tell’s him am sure he is gona brake up with you and in love, it’s not good for lovers to have secrets.even if you stay with that secret you a gona feel guilty in your heart
hexalphasigma square
Hello
Above is a difficult decision to choose if you’re loyal to him and it is not going to affect your relationship you can tell him. You might be drunk and not at all in your senses and the boys might took advantage of it you can tell this as reason to your boyfriend.
Maxwell
Hello
Thanks to you, raising this question. First, forgive yourself and forgive the situation and I will inform you that cheating is as bad as killing your worthiness in love, I mean to be good at love. Now, why do you have to tell your man you cheated on him where else he has no clue about it and its not your fault you got drunk and woke up with the news somebody did sex with you without your concern? As a man, I will try being equal here, If you are so Loyal to your man, love him without conditions and give him all that you got but some things have to be kept off a man’s ears. The reason for this is that you can tell him everything that happened and (BOOM) you guys may end up fighting and lead to regrets later. So dear, keep that to yourself and promise yourself NOT to do that again and close that chapter of having fun around others careless male friends who are meant to be just friends.
kshitij gaurav Raizada
There are two aspects of it.
One is that you really got so drunk that you were not in your senses.
Another is that you were drunk just enough to let your subconscious prevail over your conscious.
If it’s the first one i think you should seriously tell your boyfriend everything and accept that you did a mistake and that you would never do it in your senses. Not telling him might boost your nasty subconscious and you may be prone to do it in future.
If it’s the second one, then i think introspect yourself. What let you do it. Because at one stage we remember what we are doing and what we did.
There is one more better option. If you can promise yourself that such thing will never happen in future ni matter what then i think you should forget what happened. No need to tell him. You can get over your guilt by being extra caring towards him. This way you can give yourself one more chance to correct yourself without putting him in tension. Or else whether he forgets you or not, next time when he is out he may think that you might do something like that again.
So give yourself one chance if you are sure that you will never ever do it again.
Kamilo Jangora
You honestly need to tell him about it and everything that happened. It’s human nature that if you tell/confess of any wrong doings, they will be less tensed as to keeping it and letting them finding out.
I think it’s for the good of the relationship that you tell him what happened and apologize honestly. If you kept mute and he finds out by himself, the relationship may not end at once but may set a path that may lead to the doom of the relationship.
Don’t take matters of the heart as a joke.
Wish you the best of luck.
Papa Owusu Asante
You should tell him
Two traits that are highly recommended in all relationships are loyalty and faithfulness.
Choosing to inform your partner alone is an expression of the above stated traits.
Things may get out of of hand for a moment , but integrity is paramount here
Aghase
Yes you should tell him , clearly the mistake you made wasn’t intentional , now that doesn’t justify it but you were clearly not yourself , sit him down and explain the whole situation to him , it’s his right to know and to decide if he can forgive the mistake and keep being with you ,honesty is very important in a relationship and the truth will set you free.
DeeStarks
Of course…. Your boyfriend deserves honesty. He gave you his heart, but you were not satisfied. Don’t you think he should have the right to know that he is not loved the way he should be? And… don’t you think he has the right to know where he went wrong and why you cheated?
Michael Rights
In the most simplest word. I will say YES tell him. That will be on your own interest and benefits. It will safe you for now and in the future. So if you want internal peace, then be honest to yourself okay.
Trippy Dude
Yes, you should tell him. Its very important.
If you soo much love your relationship and planning to take that boyfriend of yours as your future husband, then you should probably tell him when you still got the chance, because once kept it becomes a secret and its very dangerous.
So if you consider my opinion or suggestion? Then tell him just right after you read THIS!!!!.
Jacob Liam
It’s a tough situation honestly. But to make things more simple for you and clear your conscience from this incident. such as not to remain guilty for your entire life. I will highly recommend you tell your boyfriend.
Explain to him exactly just the was you explained the scenario above. I’m a man, in my shoes, i will understand its not your fault, though its painful for a man to sit for a second and imagine another man ate his food. But he will have not choice than to forgive you, although its your fault, but you didn’t decide to do it willingly.
The most important thing for you to do here is to tell him, rather than keeping it as a secret. It will ruin you in the future. Cheers 🙂
Kartik
Have you ever heard ” Prevention is better than cure”
This is a very serious matter.
_____
If you are a good woman try not to drink ever again, stay safe with your boyfriend.
I know you are a very brave woman. You can solve any issue regarding any negative situation.
I knew you can do on your own way.
Rest;
Everything depends upon your society, country, states, city, village culture & your lifestyle.
[email protected]
If you feel in your heart like you think telling him is going to make you feel better and may be make your relationship strong then in my opinion your not ready to tell him you wait for that moment when you will feel like you can stand whatever reaction he might have after the confession, just so you know ,this has the potential to end your relationship .so first prepare your self mentally before you say anything to him
Stanley Samuel
Okay, now if you really love him then, you’ll have to tell him.. do you even love him? “Why cheat on the man whom you gave your heart to?” that’s the question you should be asking yourself right now..
Rotshidzwa Liphadzi
If you nolonger love him then yea tell him but if you love him and you dont wanna lose him then its better to keep it to your self because once u tell him it will break your entire relationship and he will never trust you again that would be the end of your relaionship. I went through the same thing felt guilty and confessed now i just wished if i could have just told my friend and forget about it i lost him over someone i didnt even love
Earnest the social worker.
If you tell him, it is going to make him to believe you more. You did not do it consciously, you’re under influence of alcohol. Just tell him once and for all and stop life blame on yourself. Though, he must have a sense of humor and understanding anyway.
The stoic philosopher
What has happened has happened and you cannot change that. No need feeling guilty. If you suspect your boyfriend may or will cheat on you in future i will suggest you hold onto this secret until the right time. If not you can decide to tell him but do not be mistaken, it will not go well unless of course you are sure that your boyfriend will not be angry. Remember, it has happened and you can’t change the past but if you have a great future with your boyfriend do not destroy it with something that happened as a mistake because you will regret it if you do. This is why it depends. Make your choice
Connie\'s Yard
I would advise you to tell him if you think he will understand according to how well you know him but if it didn’t mean anything and you won’t ever see the guy again then why loose your relationship over something that you don’t even remember? You can tell him at a later stage if maybe you get married then after.
Zubeyr
I think you should.
He has all the rights to know.
We are all humans we can make mistakes from time to time. You’ve made the mistake try to correct tell him and accept his punishment, or may be he will not.
Who knows?…
I hope i answered your question.
Ra.clemente
Hello… I’m from Brazil. Hope i can help you.
I can tell you that if you want to have a serious relationship, It is better for you, and your peace of mind to tell the truth. Life is long, and if things don’t go the way you expect right now, the person with you now, will only be able to trust you again, if you at least respect him.
And remember: a secret is only a secret, when just a single person knows about it. At the moment the second person knows about it, is no longer a secret.
So, it is better to hear from you, not from somebody else.
Good luck
Still CAREEN
Anything that causes you to sin cut it off,avoid alcohol by all means since that’s your weakness.Your worries shouldn’t be your boyfriend’s reaction if you tell him that you cheated but your safety (first)did you guys use protection?you know your boyfriend more when it comes to matters like this how he reacts to them,he left just two days and you cheated seriously some guys wouldn’t believe you were drunk instead you wanted him to travel so you can have time for the other guy.He might be using this against you anytime an argument comes up,seriously if you tell he would never look at you the same way ever,besides he is not yet your husband nor fiance.Trust is very important in every relationship but when its broken it will be difficult to built it up again,work on yourself though if you don’t tell someone somehow might tell but you know the grounds of your relationship better
.
mycle20
Yes, I think you should tell him in the right time and mood, please choose the correct timing like when he is calm and you know that he does not thinking about any negative thoughts, then try to tell him, apologize and make sure you will not do it again as promise, this will earn his trust to you that you can never lie to him.
Shadrach Ampah
Yes you should tell him that is if you both love each other well. But the timing should be good. It’s true that the truth hurts but once it said the right thing happens. Relax and make him happy or maybe do for him something he really loves and then tell him exactly how it happens. It wasn’t intentional or planned we all make mistakes. He will understand if he really loves you but a little attitude might be shown.
Hmm thou it is said that the truth is bitter but most be spoken this type of truth is kept privately because it can course serious Future problems
NHYSC SPECIAL BROWN
First of all you do not need to be worried because you are innocent.
Rather ask him him a question linked to the incident and try to guest out his action. As from that point, your inner self will instruct you on whether to tell him the truth or not.
Mebune
Hello, I think it will be very appropriate to tell him the truth and free yourself from guilt. Even though it might seem painful and hard for him to bear, with time the wounds will heal up and his trust for you will be restored.
By all means you shouldn’t tell him. It was a mistake but he might not see it that way. When guys loose their trust for you it becomes difficult to regain it. Like you said yourself it wasn’t planed and you were drunk so just forget about it and move on. You don’t need to feel guilty about it because I hear things could happen to anyway. If you see a future with your boyfriend don’t ruin it by breaking the trust and bond between you guys. The moment it’s out there that something happens it will always hang between you guys even if he forgives you. O
Dan Justice
Yes. It’s the right thing to do. And also if your boyfriend see that you regret it, he might forgive you.
pinkbeauty
Personally I believe that you should tell him.
Imagine if he did the same thing, would you want to know? What would you do if he also cheated on you? Ask yourself these questions.
Also think long term, what if you settle down with your boyfriend, get married etc, the guilt will forever eat you up, it’s better to be honest from the start, then for him to find out years later and who knows what might happen then.
Darcy
Yes, it is very advisable to tell him, he might be a little bit upset and hurt but it will build his trust and confidence in you! It is better than h hearing or finding out from a stranger!
Tell him about it and show remorse for it!
Samuelp27
Yeah you ought to tell him exactly how it happened… No lies. Or maybe put yourself in his shoes to know if you will like to know if something like this happened… But you know he won’t be happy about that but then you will no longer feel guilty for keeping it a secret.
You should probably tell him. I’m suggesting this as my opinion because of your above explanations.
But if I were in your shoes, I won’t tell him. You know? Because men are all evil.
They always cheat and cheat, Never will they have the conscience to at least tell us that they’ve committed a “cheat” but we woman we always feel guilty about whatever we do wrong in a relationship. Why?
As per my experience so far in relationships, I prefer a partner we’ll be equal to each other.
MEN are very wicked.
Still CAREEN
I really like your opinion on this,they always cheat but pretend they don’t because they of their nature,besides you will never catch them in the act (smart Beings).I will still advise you don’t tell
Dexter Dave De Guzman
You should, that’s because no secrets can be kept forever. Besides, there’s something innate in humans called conscience. Being drunk is not and will never be an excuse to do something like that. The sooner you confess to your guy, the lesser the guilt you’ll have and the lesser painful it will be for him.
Zilpa Kinuthia
You were drunk you don’t know for sure if you slept with your friend was a moment of not being to conscious so tell your boy friend if he truly loves you he will understand
It depends but timing is everything. You have to prepare him but rest assured anything you do will have consequences. This is something you need to evaluate whether keeping quiet or telling is something you should do. Either way it will not be easy.
Ian chirchir
you have to be honest with him. if he loves you, he will stay till the end of time
Jane Mwangi
I would advise against. We are human and sometimes we make regrettable mistakes, including your boyfriend. Don’t dwell on the past, rise up, learn and make a decision to be faithful to your partner henceforth.
This is more about you than its him , since you feel guilty means you have a conscious as such it will always be eating you up if you don’t come out with it. I also believe love is not everything in a relationship but it must also have respect and with respect no matter what your will not lie or cheat
11chosen
I think you should if you want your peace of mind.its human to make mistakes, every person makes mistakes. when you tell him; you won’t feel so much guilt, coz he will know the truth and he will decide the way forward for your relationship.your telling him the truth may make him open up too
Eddyfinance
If you’re sure, you’re going to marry him. Tell him.
But if it is not a serious relationship, don’t tell him
Aidoojoel
To prevent your conscience from hunting you, I will admonish you to tell your husband because the problem will escalate if he finds out by himself. Thank you
Yeah, I think he will understand or moreover tell his friend so he can relate it to him. It will be men talk and he will understand and then you apologise. There is nothing new under the sky. Eventually if he finds out later, I will be devastating to the both of you. So just quench the flane now
Tee
you have to be honest with him. if he loves you, he will stay till the end of time
i wouldnt have let them into the house in the first place. Alcohol + males – husband = NO GOOD. You should have seen this coming. If that’s what I think, I can’t imagine what your husband would. You’d better not tell him. The day he brings it up, tell him, “this is news to me, who told you this?”
Meenu
You have to tell him don’t cheat him because someone trust on you .
Mike
if you tell him won’t he break up with you think about it
It depends on what kind of guy is dating you.
Some will understand that it was a mistake and they forgive you but others won’t,
And other thing is doesn’t he cheat.
If he doesn’t then you are right to feel offended
No. Think about the out come, he feels worse and you feel better. Yes what you did was wrong and you should be punished. I think it’s fair for you to live with your guilt. Sounds like he didn’t deserve any of this.
Mercy Sachita
I think you should not,,coz he might get furious en leave you for good
Modika Linus
Yes,if the love he has for you is genuine,he would always find a place in his heart to forgive you and accept you back cuase people are bound to make mistakes.
Yes it’s really hard to tell the truth but you need to be true and at your boyfriend and at yourself as well. Besides if he really love you he will forgive you or give you another chance. It’s better that, he will know the truth commin from you, or else he will get this news from any body else, IN that way he will realize that you really love him because you can’t keep secret.
Betafo Kingsley
The truth is that I will tell him because i am guilty about it and that is to keep your relationship strong
That depends on how serious you are about your boyfriend. If you don’t feel guilty about it, don’t tell him. If you do feel guilty, take a long walk and ask yourself a question…Would you do it again? If the answer is ‘yes’ then don’t tell your boyfriend.
Shazia Naz
loyalty is most important in relationship if u cheat it will be back to u one day.
tell him and be sorry.
No don’t tell him because it will create more problems and lost of initial trust in your relationship
No you have to keep that to yourself as telling will most likely cause him to leave you. Since this happened with someone you’ll probably never see again the secret will likely not come out
Stanley Samuel
Tell her not to tell him is wrong.. if she really still loves him, then let her tell him what happened while he was away.. if he really loves her, then he’ll stay.. everyone deserves a second chance..
Yes you should say him and regret for the same and give him promise for being loyal
If he was your boyfriend, you would never cheat him.